Labeling

I'm trying to put labels on my previous posts. Ang hirap! Hmmm... I'll try to do it another time. Any suggestion how?

My first time in Mindanao (a brief entry)

I've never been away from home for that long. I spent almost two weeks in Mintal, Davao. I participated in the KASAMA sa UP National Congress and General Assembly of Student COuncils in University of the Philippines in Mindanao.

I had so much fun. I met new faces all over the UP system. I felt lucky to have been able to go there, and spent some time with these people. I hope to see them again during the SR-selection.

Here at BNR

It has been so long since I've been here. I remember the last time I was here--I was doing this template. Gosh! hahaha. That was the time I was heartbroken. hehehe. Bye for now!

Sino ang nagdidikta ng bastos?

Bastos—kailan ba natin sinasabi na bastos ang bagay, pangyayari, o tao na hindi kagalang-galang? Paano natin sinusukat ang kabastusan?

Ang konsepto ng kabastusan sa Pilipinas, sa aking palagay, ay dinidikta ng status quo ng bansa. Ibig sabihin, ang pamantayan nito ay nalimita na ng naghaharing relihiyon dito—ang Katolisismo. Nagiging masama, bastos, o hindi kagalang-galang kapag ito ay lumabag sa limitasyon ng turo ng simbahan. At dahil nga ang Katolisismo ang naghahari sa bansa, maraming mga Pilipino ang nakondisyon na ganitong kaisipan o pamantayan sa lahat ng kanilang gagawin o sasabihin. Mapapansin ang ganitong penomenon sa dokumentaryong Lukayo.

Tinatawag na bastos o imoral ang mga tradisyong may kinalaman sa simbolo ng phallus o sa ari ng lalaki ng simbahan dahil ito ay hindi tumutugma sa pamantayan ng Katolisismo na sagrado ang mga ari ng tao. Makikita na pilit na pinapatay ng naghaharing kaisipan ang mga tradisyong may phallic na simbolismo sa pamamagitan ng pagdidikdik sa isipan ng mga Pilipino na ito ay bastos at labag sa moralidad na ang simbahan ang nagdikta.

Isa itong malinaw na katibayan nang sinasabi ni Arsenio Manuel na "denigration at marginalization” na ginagawa ng isang dayuhang kultura sa tradisyonal na kultura ng isang bansa. Makikita natin na tinatatakan ng titulong bastos o immoral ang mga tradisyong nauna pa sa paglaganap ng Katolisismo sa Pilipinas, at pagkatapos pilit na binubura o isinasaisangtabi sa isipan at kultura ng mga Pilipino ang mga tradisyong tulad ng Lukayo ng Laguna at Baliw-Baliw ng Cebu. Alam ng nakararaming ito na mali, pero sinusunod pa rin nila dahil simbahan ang nagsabi.

Ngunit kung titignang mabuti, hindi naman tamang gamiting pamantayan ang mga turo ng simbahan upang bigyang konteksto ang mga ganitong klase ng tradisyong Pilipino. Dapat nating tandaan na nagsimula ang ganitong mga tradisyon bago pa man dumating ang mga dayuhang mananakop. Samakatuwid, nabuo ang mga tadisyong ito sa labas ng konsepto ng Kristiyanismo at Katolisismo. Maaaring ito ay parte nang tinatawag nilang paganong paniniwala ng mga sinaunang Pilipino.

Kung iisipin nga naman, ang konsepto ng kahalagahan ng mga ari, lalo na ang patriyarkal na pag-iisip, ay nakapasok lamang sa isipan ng mga Pilipino nang lumaganap ang Katolisimong dala ng mga dayuhang Kastila. Ang relihiyong ito ay ginamit na kasangkapan sa pananakop ng mga Kastila noon (kasama ito sa kanilang 3G—ang God, Gold, and Glory). Sa pamamagitan nito ay kinondisyon nila ang isipan ng mga Pilipino sa isang lipunang patriyarkal at lalaki ang dapat maghari, at na katotohanan ang bawat sambitin ng simbahan.

Tama sila Prof. Nick Tiongson. Maaaring kaya malaki ang pagtutol ng ilang institusyon sa mga ganitong pagpapalabas at pagpapalaganap ng mga sinaunang tradisyong may ginagamit na phallus ay dahil ito ay anti-male o anti-masculine labag sa dominanteng kaisipang patriyarkal sa bansa.

Pero sa huli sana ay maisip nga ng mga Pilipino--lalo na ng mga kabataang Pilipino--ang kahalagahan ng pagpapalaganap ng mga tradisyong Pilipino at pagtanggap sa sarili at tunay na kulturang Pilipino. At higit sa lahat, sana ay maipagpatuloy at hindi lamang mamatay ang mga sinaunang tradisyong Pilipino sa kabila ng kakaunting suportang natatanggap nito mula sa mga institusyon sa lipunan.

*paper na ipinasa para sa isang Anthro class

Hurt

I'm feeling it again. Any effort of denying this feeling have gone to waste.

Sino nga ba talaga ang bulag?

IKAW. OO, IKAW NGA.
SINO ANG TUNAY NA BULAG?

Ang mga taong hindi nakakakita dahil sa pisikal na kakulangan?


O


Ang mga taong nakakakita ngunit pinipiling magsawalang-bahala?
PARA SA AKIN, ANG TUNAY NA BULAG AY ANG MGA TAONG PINIPILING MAGKIBIT-BALIKAT NA LAMANG SA MGA MALING NAGAGANAP SA BAYAN. KAAWA-AWA ANG MGA TAONG NABIBILANG SA IKALAWANG KATEGORYA DAHIL KAHIT SILA AY NABIGYAN NG PAGKAKATAON NA MABUHAY NANG NORMAL AY HINDI NILA GINAGAMIT ANG PAGKAKATAONG IYON NA MAGDALA NG PAGBABAGO, KUNGDI MAN PIGILAN ANG NANGINGIBABAW NA KAGULUHAN SA ATING BAYAN.

Patuloy na paglaban

Madaling magsabing pagod ka na.

Madaling magsabing ayaw mo na.

Madaling magsabing tigil na.

Madaling magsabing tama na.

Pero paano matatapos ang lahat,

kung ikaw nama'y hanggang salita't

wala namang gawa?

Ito na!

Setyembre na. Simula na ng isang buwan ng pagsasaya at paghihirap ng konseho para sa Mass Media Awareness Month. Ngayong taon, ang konseho ay nakaangkla sa tema na "Proactive and Transformative Media for a Free Filipino Society." Nakita namin sa konseho ang pangangailangan na muling ipanawagan hindi lamang sa mga nasa propesyon na kungdi pati sa academya at mga mag-aaral ng komunikasyon na kailangan magkaroon ng pagbabago sa ating lipunan at sa media.

Sa buwan na ito ay magkakaroon kami ng Production Festival para ipakita sa ibang mag-aaral kung paano maaring gamitin ang media sa pagpaparating ng mahahalagang mensahe sa lipunan; ng Media Summit para sa mga kabataang nasa haiskul at nais maging bahagi ng media; ng isang roundtable discussion sa pagitan ng mga nsa propesyon at academya kung paano masisimulang gawing proactive at transformative ang media; at ang pinakahuli ay ang MULAT! the Mass Media Awareness Concert na magiging senyales ng pagsisimula sa pagbubuo ng isang media na maaaring tugunan ang pangangailangan ng bayan para makapagdesisyon at kumilos sa ikauunlad ng Pilipinas.

A REACTION TO A WELL-BEHAVE FELLOW

WHAT IS TO DESTABLIZE IN SOMETHING THAT IS UNSTABLE?

UP STUDENTS ARE KNOWN TO BE CRITICAL AND ANALYTICAL. WE ARE NOT UP STUDENTS IF WE JUST SIMPLY GO WITH THE FLOW WITHOUT CONTEXTUALIZING WHAT IS HAPPENING. IT JUST HAPPENED THAT OUR OBSERVATIONS ON HOW THE GOVERNMENT AND THE COUNTRY ARE DOING ARE NOT THE SAME AS HOW THE ADMINISTRATION PERCEIVED THEY ARE DOING.

WE OBSERVE THAT THE SO-CALLED FOREFRONTS OF THE ADMINISTRATION THEMSELVES DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND SAYING. WE SEE THAT WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO MANY POLITICIANS IS HOLDING POWER, AND NOT SERVING THE COUNTRY. WE SEE THAT THIS ADMINISTRATION IS LOSING ITS CREDIBILITY AS TIME GOES BY. WE OBSERVE THAT THERE STILL IS INEQUALITY IN THE COUNTRY, FAR FROM WHAT SOME FROM THE ADMINISTRATION CLAIMS. WE OBSERVE THAT JUSTICE IS DIFFICULT TO ACHIEVE. THESE ARE JUST SOME OF OUR OBSERVATIONS.

WE ARE NOT DESTABLIZING THE SOCIETY AND THE SO-CALLED GOVERNMENT FOR THE PEOPLE. WHAT WE, UP STUDENTS, ARE DOING IS TO PINPOINT THE FAULTS AND THE PROBLEMS CAUSING THE DECLINE OF OUR COUNTRY, AND TO PROPOSE SOLUTIONS WE DEEM EFFECTIVE TO PUT THIS DECLINE TO AN END. WHY SHOULD WE CALL OURSELVES ISKOLARS NG BAYAN IF WE DO NOTHING TO ADDRESS THE PROBLEM OF THE NATION?

FURTHERMORE TO THOSE WHO SAY THAT WE OWE SOMETHING TO THE ADMINISTRATION, I THINK YOU GOT EVERY THING MIXED UP. WE DON'T OWE ANYTHING DIRECTLY TO THE GOVERNMENT. THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT FUNDING OUR EDUCATION. THE FILIPINO PEOPLE ARE. THE GOVERNMENT IS MERELY ALLOCATING THE TAXPAYERS' MONEY (AND IT IS DOING IT SO BADLY BY PUTTING ALL THE MONEY TO UNNECCESSARY THINGS LEAVING THE EDUCATION SECTOR SCARCE OF FUNDS).

Reminiscing the past

Minsan nahinto ang pag-ikot ng buhay ko sa isang panahon--sa isang nakaraan. Sa loob ng mahigit dalawang taon, wala kong inisip kungdi ang mga naganap noon. Masakit pa rin kapag naiisip ko siya minsan. Ngunit mas masakit isiping natutunan ko nga siyang kalimutan, pero lubhang mas nasasaktan ako sa piniling kong kapalit niya.

Third year haiskul noon, malapit na matapos ang pasukan kaya madalas ay nasa bahay lang ako. Minsang gumagawa ako ng proyekto ay tinawag ako ni Mama. Mayroon daw naghahanap sa akin sa labas. Sa pag-aakalang kaklase ko ay pinaghintay ko pa nang kaunti ang taong iyon. Pagkalabas ko, sa aking pagkagulat ay si Obet pala. Natuwa ako. Matagal ko nang hindi nakikita ang taong ito mula noong lumipat sila ng bahay. Kamustahan, kuwentuhan at kulitan ang ginawa namin buong maghapon. Bago siya umalis ay nagpalitan muna kami ng numero. "Text-text tayo," ang ani ko.

Hindi lumaon ay naging mag-"textmate" kami--palitan ng quotes, ng "hi"-"hello", at ng "musta?"

Isang gabi, naalala ko pa na nanonood ako ng Scariest Places on the World, nagkukulitan kami ni Obet. Tapos biglaang napag-usapan ang mga crush at love. Nagbibiruan kung kamusta ang love life, nalamang wala, nagtanungan kung bakit, at iba pa.

Tapos, naungkat iyong quote na minsang pinadala ko sa kanya. Galing iyong text na iyon sa pinsan ko, naisip kong iforward sa kanya. Ang nakalagay doon ay tungkol sa pagiging ispesyal ng nakatanggap. Naitanong niya kung bakit ko naman naisip na isa siyang espesyal na tao. Sabi ko kasi kaibigan kita saka mabait ka sa akin at mga ganoong bagay. Siyempre, di ko masabi sa kanya na crush ko siya dati. Kaya sobrang kinagulat ko nang sabihin niya na ako ay espesyal sa kanya bukod sa pagiging close namin ay crush niya ako dati. Ayun, sa huli nagkaaminan din kami na naging crush namin ang isa't isa. Mula noong gabing iyon ay naging superfriends na ata kami. Sobrang close.

After some time, iyong closeness na ito ay nauwi sa isang mas malalim na samahan. Isang samahan na akala ko noon ay hindi mabubuwag at hindi matatapos, kahit na malayo kami sa isa't isa at may ilang harang na kailangan daanan. Nagkamali ako.

Natapos ang lahat sa isang text message mula sa kanya. May practical exam kami sa P.E. noong araw na iyon. Umuwi ako para kunin ang costume ko. Nawala kasi sa isip ko na dalhin iyon. Pag-apak ko sa bahay, naramdaman kong may nagtext sa akin. Hindi ko muna pinansin dahil nagmamadali akong hanapin iyong black slacks ko.

Nang makita ko na ang slacks ko, umupo ako at pinagtuunan ng pansin ang text. Sa aking pagkagulat ay may message mula sa kanya na sinasabi na nanghihingi ng paumahin at na itigil na namin ang lahat. Ang sakit. Gustong bumulusok na lamang ng mga luha sa mga mata ko pero pinigil ko. Ayaw kong makita ako ni Mama na umiiyak. Ginawa ko ay nagmadali akong lumabas ng bahay.

Habang binabaybay ko ang daan papunta sa skul, unti-unti nang tumutulo ang mga luha ko. Pagdating ko sa oval, nagtataka ang ilang mga classmate ko bakit ako umiiyak. Ang sinabi ko na lang na pinagalitan ako ni Mama. Nilapitan ako agad ng barkada ko kasi pakiramdam nila hindi iyong ang tunay na dahilan. Binuhos ko sa kanila ang sama ng loob ko.

Nakapagsayaw pa ako noon. Akala mo nga walang nangyaring masama sa akin. Akala mo nga sobrang saya ko. Pero sa totoo, sa loob-loob ko, gusto ko nang umiyak at magmura sa galit. OO, inaamin kong galit na galit ako sa kanya noon. Napakawalang kwenta iyong dahilan niya--isang bagay na siya ang mga kasalanan. Hay...

Makalipas ang ilang buwan ng hindi pagpansin sa kanya, naisipan kong patawarin na siya. Nagsend ako ng religious quote. Nagreply siya. Sabi ko huwag kang mag-alala, okay na ako. Wala na 'yun. Nagkwentuhan kami kung ano na ang nangyari sa mga buhay namin after how many months. Nagtuloy-tuloy lang ang pagkakaibigan namin hanggang ngayon.

Pero, mali ako na okay na ako. Sa loob ng ilang taon, naiwan ako sa isang tabi na umaasa na maging maayos kami at magkatuluyan pa. Ilang taong, hindi pinapansin ang iba dahil sa pag-aasam. Minsan pinaparamdam niya na ganoon din ang gusto niyang mangyari, pero bigla siyang mawawala. Walang ni-ha, ni-ho mula sa kanaya matapos niyang iparamdam sa akin na gusto pa rin niya ako.

Hanggang isang araw ay may dumating na isang tao na nagparamdam sa akin na importante ako. Pero hindi ito nagtagal dahil naramdaman ko na mas matimbang pa rin ang nauna kaysa sa kanya. Nakipaghiwalay ako sa taong ito na napakabuti. Minsan nga naiisip ko kung paano kaya kung hindi ko na lang pinansin iyong maliit na boses sa isip ko at puso ko na may pagmamahal pa rin ako kay Obet, siguro kami pa ng taong ito.

Muli bumalik ako sa pag-aasam na maayos namin ang lahat ni Obet. Pero makalipas ng isang taon, nagising na ako sa katotohanan. Ayaw ko nang umasa sa kanya. MOVE ON. MOVE ON. Binuksan ko ang puso ko sa ibang tao. Hinayaan kong magparamdam sila, magpakita ng sinseridad ng kanilang pagmamahal. Matagal din bago may nakapukaw ng damdamin ko.

Akala ko, magiging okay na lahat. Siguro naman ibibigay na ng Diyos iyong nais ko dahil ang tagal kong naghirap. Pero nagkamali ako. Mas masakit palang leksyon ang balak ng Diyos para sa akin.

Makalipas ang ilang buwan, nalaman ko na niloloko lang pala ako. MAS MASAKIT kaysa sa nangyari sa amin ni Obet. Kay Obet, alam ko na walang involve na ibang babae at nalinaw na sa akin kahit papaano kung bakit nangyari iyon. Pero dito, hindi ko naintindihan kung bakit. AT ang pinakamasakit, hanggang sa huli pinipili pa rin niyang itanggi iyon. Buti na lang may kadaldalan iyong isang babae at pinadalhan ako ng e-mail.

Minsan iniisip ko kung saan ko ilalagay lahat ng naramdaman kong sakit. Para kasi walang lugar sa buhay ko na masaktan ngayon, na umiyak. Ang dami kong responsibilidad na kailangan gampanan. Minsan naisip ko nga, hindi kaya ang pagtanggap ko ng mga trabaho ay isang unconscious effort na kalimutan lahat ng nangyaring ito at itago sa pagod ang mga hinanakit ko sa buhay.

Siguro...hindi ko alam...hindi ko sigurado. Basta ngayon alam ko, masaya ako. Tama na muna ang ganito.

Malay

walang kang malay...

walang kang alam sa nangyayari sa mundo...

walang kang pakialam sa iyong kapwa tao...

wala ka bang balak na makialam?

Trying

I'm trying...

trying to forget...

forget the past...

the past full of pain...

pain that caused my heart...

my heart to grow cynical...

cynical of love.

The issue of foreign media ownership in the Philippines is nothing new. Talks about opening up Philippine media to foreign investors have started in the Ramos's presidency, and the Arroyo administration just revived it.

Globalization of the Philippine market, as seen by the Arroyo government, will solve the country's economic problems. Proposed plans of action to bring forth the liberalization of Philippine media and economy are stipulated in the Medium Term Philippine Development Plan for 2004-2010, drafted by National Economic and Development Authority.

Steps toward liberalization
But to open up media, as well as the Philippine economy to foreigners mean amending provisions of the 1987 Constitution, a reason presumed behind Mrs. Arroyo's eager promotion of Cha-cha to legislators. According to the MTPDP, the removal of the "protectionist" provisions in the Constitution will lead to the liberalization of utilities and services limited to Filipinos. The removal of these "protectionist" revisions is included in the proposed new charter of the 24-man Consultative Commission formed by Mrs. Arroyo.

Naval Mayor Gerardo Espina Jr., one of the proponents of the new charter said that access to information "should not be controlled by locals alone"-- a reason, among others, why they approved of the elimination of Article XVI, Section 11 of the 1987 Constitution which states that media outfits shall be owned only by Filipinos, or Filipino-owned and -controlled corporations, cooperatives and associations.

The Promises of Foreign Media Ownership
Liberalization of the market--including the media market--will bring new job opportunities, strengthen the economic power, and assure the country a name in the international economic sphere, the Arroyo government keeps on mentioning.

NEDA director Romulo Neri believed the liberalization of the media market is a "good idea". He argued that this will make Philippine a "global media player," and who knows the "center for media distribution throughout the world."

Espina further explained that with the advent of foreign investments will create jobs, increase salaries, improve media content, and introduce new technologies to the industry which he described as "a big opportunity for local media men."

And with these investments--as Luis Teodoro, veteran journalist and Journalism professor at the UP College of Mass Communication presumed--the government hopes to "alleviate poverty" and "raise growth rates."
Furthermore, Alexander Magno, another proponent of the new charter, said that "deletion of (Article XVI, Section 11) will make business more efficient and this will regulate the content." He stressed that with foreign owners "monopoly would be eliminated."

Journalists think otherwise.

For Cheap Labor, not Higher Salary
Rowena Carranza-Paraan, National Union of Journalists of the Philippines director, doubts the promise of higher equity for media practitioners. She argued that foreign investors want to earn profit. She further stressed that the foreigners did not come to do noble things or bring better lives, but to gain back what they invested.

"So, bakit nila tataasan ang suweldo kung sa ngayong kalakalan pupuwedeng umiral ang ganitong rate," she said pointing out that these investors would probably maximize the cheap rate of labor Philippine offers. Paraan foresees this event like those of the experience with multinational corporations. When MNCs build factories in the country, the salary they give to Filipino workers are the same rate, if not lower, of those given by Filipino-owned corporations.

Overseas, the same problem is faced by media workers. "Iyong ineexpect na gaganda ang kalagayan ng mga workers hindi nangyayari," Paraan added.

Not the right time to be global
On the other hand, Teodoro, in his article Missing in MTPDP objectives: 'compliant media,' does not see Philippine becoming a "global media player." He argued that, unlike Singapore and Hong Kong, the Philippines lacks "predictable laws, the communication infrastructure and the almost corruption-free environment attractive to foreign investors." He also said that with the value of most Philippine media forms could not compete with its foreign counterparts, he doubts foreign investors would even commit to the local media.

Greater Decline in Content and Programming
If making profit is the main objective of investors, then the improvement of media content and programming would remain a myth.

Homogenized and sensationalized reports already plague Philippine media today. Newspapers, radio and television programs, and even some online publications have resorted to such to win the battle over profit and patronage. If content is already sacrificed in a setting where only local players exist, what more will happen once Philippine media is under the control of foreign investors?

Teodoro observed that in most country with foreign media ownership the kind of news delivered to the public is often affected--a complete opposite of what Magno said. Let us take the Czech Republic for example. In his article, Ian Willoughby cited Borivoj Celovsky's observation that the content of newspapers--either owned by German or Swiss companies--in Czech Republic, aside from reporting the same information, eventually takes on the side of its owners. And, it seems like just an ordinary event for some Czech citizens.

Teodoro also said that most countries with open media market tend to focus on "trivia, press releases and public relations."

Paraan also has the same view. She said that the focus of media content would depend on who is making it. To give face on the possible effect of foreign media ownership, Paraan said that the focus of news about the war in Lebanon would have been different if an American-owned media outfit reports it. Local news coverage generally focus on overseas Filipino workers in Lebanon and their families--an unlikely topic of American-owned media companies. They would probably just allot some time for Filipinos, she said.

Proliferation of foreign culture
Another reason behind the liberalization of media, as Magno puts it, is to "eliminate monopoly" of media. But to immediately gain profits, foreign investors, Paraan said, is to have a monopoly over different kinds of medium and/or the acquisition of large network. And, foreign monopoly over multi-media could mean promotion of foreign culture.

The proliferation of foreign culture could mean greater decline in the patronage of national products, as well as shows. Colonial mentality would again flourish among Filipinos. This, as Celovsky puts it, is another "threat to national identity." Although it can be argued that there had always been there a foreign mindset proliferating in the country, it does not make it right to further inculcate that among Filipinos.

At the wrong hands
Paraan cited the 2004 national elections as an example of how powerful media influence is. Political advertisements plagued television sets during the campaign period. She stressed that those with higher airtime for political ads like Senators Jamby Madrigal and Pia Cayetano became top ten senator electorates.

With such power in influencing the public, foreign control over it would be dangerous. If the administration would not be able to guarantee safeguards for journalists once their plans of opening it up happens, then the national media could die a natural death. And undoubtedly, the promises they laid down would not see their birth.


References:
AFX. (2004). Gov't to consider opening media to foreigners--Neri. Retrieved on August 1, 2006.
http://money.inq7.net/breakingnews/view_breakingnews.php?yyyy=2004&mon=09&dd=27&file=10
Danao, E. (2005). Foreign ownership of RP media eyed. Retrieved on August 1, 2006.
http://www.manilatimes.net/national/2005/.../yehey/top_stories/20051015top8.html
Teodoro, L. (2003). Missing in MTPDP objectives: 'compliant media.' Retrieved on August 4, 2006. http://www.luisteodoro.com/archives/.../missing-in-mtdp-obectives-compliant-media
Willoughby, I. (2003). Worries about the foreign ownership of media in the Czech Republic. Retrieved on August 1, 2006. http://www.radio.cz/en/article/43408
Wilson, K. (2004). Opening RP media to foreign ownership easier said than done. Retrieved on August 4, 2006.http://news.inq7.net/nation/index.php?index=1&story_id=14097
J109 article (submitted to Ma'am Evelyn Katigbak by Remanuel Bandiola)
Foreign Media Ownership Symposium (hosted by Union of Journalists of the Philippines-UP Diliman)Interview with Rowena Carranza-Paraan (August 1, 2006. NUJP headquarters)

Taking risks

Lately, I've been taking risks.
I confronted those who are trying to manipulate me (and some friends).
I told them what I felt and what I think they are doing.
I condemned the powerful, by words and deeds.

But, this risk I took just this Monday is awfully difficult and scary--
Not in the sense that it endangers my physical being.
This risk will not be easy to recover from--no medical cure for this.
This risk will cause me time--no certain length of recovery.
This risk led me to level of cynicism before, and yet I am taking again.

Anyway, I know what happened before.
I am careful now, but I know this can still hurt.

hegemonic politicking

what can I say to what happened?

People,please don't try my patience again.

I may have cried, but those tears were of utmost anger.

Hegemony. Status quo. Oppression. These are just some of the things they are fighting against. But sadly, some of its members practice these things.

Most people know that they are critical and vigilant, and that they are fighting for the rights of the masses. COrrect! They are. That is why I decided to be part of their team. But what I did not expect is that some kind of hegemony exists inside this team. I coined this hegemony, the hegemony of politicking.

Hegemony of politicking entails that once you are under a party you should instantly adhere to everything they believe in. And if you have others inside your party won't adhere to these beliefs, you just have to talk to them that this is what it is, take it or leave it. SO much for democracy and freedom of speech!

I am not saying that all the people in this party are like this--just a few I know. BUT, the few I am talking about are part of the team handling matters regarding the college. Sadly, they don't respect territoriality and authority of the students to chose for themselves.

I already cried FOUL to what they did, and told them that I would not adhere to this kind of democracy a thousand times before. I hope this would not happen again. Many people I know are disillusioned to what they are doing to their members, and I don't want to turn disillusional,too.

Is this the sad reality?

I am worried about those two...your schoolmates...

because during Martial law if a person is gone for more than two weeks,

they are dead (not his exact words).

I've heard it before, and I heard it again. This time from a man I respect. This is not about me, but about two women I admire for their courage (though I haven't personally met them). This is about two women whose lives are in danger because of helping the pesantry of Bulacan. This is about Karen Empeno and Sherlyn Cadapan.

It's more than a month now since they were abducted, and still no information on their whereabouts. Yes, there were news about seeing their bodies in purgatories in Isabela or in somewhere else God knows but either it was unverified info or a false story. The news about the Supreme Court ordering AFP to release of Karen and Sherlyn was the last thing I've heard about them.

Last week, I've been asking around if there's some new developments on the whereabouts of Karen and Sherlyn. Nothing. I asked about the court rule and AFP. Still no action from AFP, they said. I think about how their parents feel, and I am saddened. Yes, the SC did came out with a order, but no follow-up. It is like making the parents' lives stop at a point, making them hope and wait for nothing.

And this Tuesday, I heard that sorrowful statement again. I hate hearing it because it kills the hope of seeing our fellow iskolars ng bayan. I hate hearing it because it shatters the dreams of the family they left behind. I hate hearing it because it bring anger to my heart. I hate hearing it because it might be true.

STATE OF [Gloria's] NATION ADDRESS (unedited)

Is there a difference between this SONA and the past five Gloria delivered? For Sec. Michael Defensor, there is. He said that this one does not contain any politics. Not even promises, he said. But as I listened to Gloria's endless qualms of achievements and plans, I felt as if I am at a graduation ceremony and I am listening to a valedictory speech.

Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with valedictory speeches. It is just that when you say that someone will report the state of the nation, I expect that it would be about how the nation is doing and how the Filipinos are coping. Like every other SONAs, this speech is not of the real state of the nation but of a president's so-called achievements and proposed plans.

Yes, there is something different about this one; it is not in the content but is in the delivery. Unlike previous ones, there are no direct promises of good wealth and health to each and every Filipino. But those plans she laid out are too ambitious and are still just plans until they will be implemented.

There is also no direct politicized statement. But she keeps on mentioning her dream--her dream to have the Constitution overhauled. Some would say that the word overhauled is an exaggeration. No, it is not. If you would look closely at the proposed amendments--that are supposedly for the nation--lined-up, you would see how the whole constitution would be turned upside-down. I am bluntly saying that there is politics in the things she said. She brought up Charter Change as the means to stop red tape. Brought it up again in a run down of what will lead to a better nation. She thanked every person possible, and even have this staged lighting effect--whenever she says a name that person is there and would be standing or put on spotlight (even the Ifugao family she had encounter with). She gladly states that she has converted previous foes into one of her allies. She sarcastically says that what her foes are just waste of time. Is that an unpoliticized speech? *[People at the Batasan Pambansa clapped at her every pause, but watching them closely on the television I feel that they were clapping because the others are. And even some of them appeared like waiting for their names to be blurted out by Arroyo.]

In this speech, she condemned political and extrajudicial killings. But, has she done anything about it? She does not even acknowledge the fact that most of those who commits these acts are under her power. She even thanked Palparan for a job well done. Does she know that when you ask "ordinary" people who were formerly under Palparan they would say that it was a reign of terror? Maybe she does, maybe she don't. She even said that they allotted P1 billion to stop insurgencies and terrorism. Who would decide who's a terrorist and who's not? If you read the proposed Anti-terrorism Bill, anyone could be a terrorist.

We might see her shaking hands with the masses, talking to them on television. But I don't think that is enough to feel the suffering these people have gone through. Can she feel the pain of the families of those who died fighting for their rights? Can she feel what some of our fellow Filipinos feels whenever they have to engage to prostitution or to go abroad to work because they can't have a decent job in their own countries? She mentioned the evacuees for Lebanon. But does she sees that there would have been no evacuees at all if those people found jobs here in the Philippines? I have this feeling that the government only acts whenever it sees an opportunity to be prominent, to be thanked for. Prominence overshadows other details.

She said that three percent of Filipinos out of poverty. But are they really? This figure is not enough to say we are making progress. She is pulling the legs of Filipinos by overcrowding them with terms and figures.

And, she forgot to address the Filipino youth--no mention of education and her plans to boost the quality of education in the country. I don't know if she deliberately did not include it because as I see it she was not able to do anything for it, or she has forgotten about it because she is busy with thinking about pleasing the business sector and making a good impression on other countries and politicians.

***Sadly, I was not able to join the mobilization against her reign. I wish I was there so I could have voiced out these things. Also, please forgive grammatical errors I have committed here. Thanks.

Solidarity Message (Justice for 'Nicole')

Magandang hapon po sa lahat!

Kami po ay nakikiisa sa paghahanap ng katarungan para kay Bb. "Nicole." Hindi po makatarungan ang ginawa sa kanya ng mga sundalong Amerikano. At, ang mga nagaganap na pagtatanggol ng gobyerno sa mga sundalong ito ay isang pambabastos hindi lamang kay Nicole kungdi sa lahat ng mga Pilipino. Ipinapakita nila dito na mas binibigyan pang importansiya ng ating gobyerno ang mga dayuhan.

Nananawagan din po kami sa ilang media outfits na sana po ay maging 'fair at balance' sa pagrereport tungkol kay "Nicole," at sana ay galangin ang privacy ni 'Nicole' at ng pamilyang ito. Bilang mga mamamahayag, dapat ay pinoprotektahan natin ang inosente at hindi ito ineexploit tulad ng ilang mga pagbabalitang nababasa at napapanood sa dyaryo at telebisyon.

Ipagpatuloy natin ang laban laban sa pang-aapi ng mga dayuhan sa sarili nating bayan at higit sa lahat, laban sa pang-aapi ng ilang kapwa nating Pilipino. Salamat po!

UP University Council On Karen and Sherlyn's Abduction

University Council Resolution on the Abduction and Disappearance of UP Students Karen Empeño and Sherlyn Cadapan*

The University Council expresses great concern that government authorities have not yet produced indications of the whereabouts of two UP Diliman undergraduate students Ms. Karen Empeño of the Sociology Department of the College of Social Sciences and Philosophy and Ms. Sherlyn Cadapan of the College of Human Kinetics.

It is now 10 days since President Emerlinda R. Román wrote a letter to Department of Interior and Local Government Secretary Ronaldo Puno and to Department of National Defense Secretary Avelino Cruz Jr. requesting assistance in locating the two students. In the letter, President Román described the circumstances attending the abduction of the two students: “According to raw reports reaching my office, six or more masked armed men forcibly took them at about 2 in the morning of Monday, June 26, 2006, in Purok 6, Barangay San Miguel, Hagonoy, Bulacan. The masked armed men were using long guns and apparently did not show any court order for their physical detention. We were also informed that Karen was asked to remove her shirt. They used this shirt to blindfold her. Sherlyn is pregnant. The women were then forced into a vehicle that proceeded in the direction of Iba, Hagonoy.”

We would like to emphasize that whatever the motives and circumstances behind it and whether it is carried out by private persons or by persons connected with government, abduction is always illegal and punishable by law, aside from being a violation of the victim’s human rights.

We are greatly concerned that they may be victims of the wave of extra-judicial executions and forced disappearances associated with elements of the security and defense establishments. Indeed, we fear for their lives.

We would therefore wish to strongly support and reiterate President Román’s request to Secretaries Puno and Cruz and other government authorities that they immediately furnish us with information of the whereabouts of Ms. Empeño and Ms. Cadapan, provide them with medical and legal assistance, and release them to the care of the University as soon as possible.

We consider the continuing silence of the authorities in this matter of life and death to be inexcusable and a betrayal of the public trust.

In conclusion, we would like to repeat President Román’s words to Secretary Puno and Secretary Cruz: “We know that you share with us a commitment to the spirit of the UN General Assembly’s ‘Declaration on the Protection of all Persons from Enforced
Disappearance’ (Resolution 47/133 of December 18, 1992). We also know that the acts done by masked armed men are criminally punishable under our laws. Most of all, as parents committed to teaching the virtues of valuing human dignity, we are certain that you could address the matter with empathy.”

University Council, UP Diliman, July 12, 2006

*source: http://www.upd.edu.ph/~updinfo/janfebmar06/articles/univcouncil.htm

Pasasalamat!

Super! Napakaligaya talaga ng aking welcome part(ies) to adulthood. hehehe. Tatlo (yaman!) ang cake ko ngayong taon--lahat chocolate cakes kaya lang iba-iba ang icing at design

Panalo nga kasi nabalitaan ko mula kay Schatzi (ang aking soulmate dahil kabday ko siya at Journ din siya sa UP at UJP din siya at ...) na parehas ang handa namin sa bahay noong July 13--black forest cake, pancit atbp. Winner--soulmate na soulmate ang dating--di ba?

Kakatuwa din kasi after so many years ay ngayon na lang uli ako nakapaghihip ng birthday candle (with the bday song singing and wishing before blowing rituals). At hindi lang iisang beses,ah. Isa sa Jollibee Philcoa with UJP and Schatzi at ang isa pa ay with my barkada,

JEMZINCK.

SOBRANG SAYA!

Maraming salamat po sa lahat ng bumati sa aking kaarawan! Salamat din sa tuwang naidulot, sa mga wish na hiniling at sa mga yakap na natanggap ko.

The Twenteen Edition

A few more hours and I'll be out of "teenhood" (I was born around 4:30pm of July 13, 1986).

Although I am legally considered under the youth sector, I feel the pressure of not being teen. Being a teenager is considered, well, relatively young than those in their twenties. A year gap between 19 and 20 is a big thing for some (that is how I feel when people who are just a few months or a year younger than me approach me and say, "Uy, malapit ka na mag-twenty. 'Di ka na teenager.").

Aside from wise cracks from younger friends, I somehow feel the pressure to be this mature folk. It is as if you have to undergo this personality workshop for young adults to be more responsible and more mature. It is like having to carry a book of knowledge wherein all phenomena are explained--though I already am feeling this as the chair of the student council.

Nothing relatively new, I guess. There would always be a few who would make a fuss about you getting older each year. Anyway, I know I will be able to appreciate most of the adjustments or changes that will happen (and will be able to pit these to good use...hehehe).

What can I say? Another year gained. Another year to explore. Thanks to everyone who made my 20 years of existence on Earth memorable and fun. I hope all of you would still be there to make this year another year to cherish. Again, THANK YOU!

Tiring days

I offer my deepest apology to those people who have visited my blog and haven't read anything new for the past weeks.

I have been busy with my council responsibilities, as well as trying to protect the liberties of my fellow students (NO TO TUITION and MISCELLANEOUS INCREASES; and NO TO MILITARY INTERVENTION IN UP) . Yes (I know some does not expect this), my academic responsibilities were set aside for these other responsibilities. But, I have to (at least for a meantime). As one of my professor said (I am not sure of his exact words though), do not let your studies intefere with your education.

Also in my entire UP life, this is the only semester that I did not attend some of my classes. I feel guilty about not coming to two of my classes--eventhough I am excused from my Anthro class because all CMC students were asked to go to the Gawad Plaridel lecture, and my professor for the Economics 100.1 class does not take attendance. I feel guilty because it is so unlike me to miss classes (when there were exercises and a quiz) and because I know my parents expect much more from me. But what can I do, right? What's done is done.

Mga katangahan sa Pilipinas

Hay! Halos katangahan at kalokohan na lang ang mga sinasabi ng mga ilang tao sa gobyerno. Tulad na lang sa isang opisyal ng sandatahang hukbo ng bansa na nagsabi na kinasisiya niya, nila, ang pagkadukot sa dalawang estudyante ng UP noong Hunyo 26 sa Hagonoy, Bulacan. Anong nakakatuwa sa pagdukot ng mga taong tunay na nagmamalasakit sa bayan at sa masa? Napaka-bias (dahil itinuturing nilang terrorista ang mga taong ito) na statement!

Isang halimbawa pa ay noong nakaraang pasukan. Tama bang sabihin na walang kakulangan sa mga guro at classrooms sa mga pampublikong paaralan kung alam naman ng lahat kahit na mga tao sa DepEd na mayroon? Kitang-kita naman sa mga footage na pinapalabas sa telebisyon na nagsisiksikan na ang mga kabataan sa napakaliit na lugar ang kakulangan, bakit kinakailangan pang itanggi? Siguro, inaassure lang niya ang kanyang sarili na walang kakulangan. Hay, naku...

Nakakasakit talaga ng ulo ang mga sinasabi nila.

Yehey!

Ang saya namin ngayong araw! Nakakuha na kami ng isang sponsor for our freshmen week. Buti na lang at napakasipag ng may hawak ng marketing committee namin na si Micah. Napakatiyagang bata.

Marami pa kaming ipafollow-up at pagbibigyan ng mga letters. Pero at least, we have one at bigatin pa. Maliban nga sa pagsponsor ng company na ito ay magpapasale pa sila sa UP, oh di ba may extrang kita pa para magkaroon ng pondo ang student council.

Noong Martes habang naglilinis kami ng office ay may nakita akong mga papeles--ang financial statement ng 2004-05 na student council for the MMAM celebration. Ito ata iyong nawawalang statement na nagresult sa hindi pagpapaloan sa sumunod na student council ng OICA. Kung ito nga iyon, napakaswerte namin dahil magkakaroon kami ng another mean to have funds for our lined-up activities. Ang saya!

* * *

Lumayo naman tayo sa aking buhay-eskwela. Masaya naman ang paputol-putol na bakasyon ko. Tumatambay ako kasama ang barkada ko. Nakikipaglaro sa baby cousin ko. Nagmall with my sister and our baby cousin.

Masaya rin kasi napatunayan ko na na ayos na ang aking buhay-single (hahaha). Nakausap ko na iyong ex ko, at hindi na ako asar. Ibig sabihin lang nito ay nakamove on na talaga ako. Pero, this doesn't really mean I'm ready for another relationship. Focus muna sa acads at sa council work siguro!

* * *

Kainis lang talaga ang dsl namin. Ayaw magbukas ng ilang sites.

16th, 17th, 18th, 19th day

May 10. I spent my day reading newspapers (looked through political news and made sure they were okay). After that I went through the website. I also got the audio file of our interview yesterday from Sir Bryant. After that, Sir Bryant talk to me and Janice. We delegated ourselves to whose audio file we are gonna transcribe. I got Adrian Ayalin's. We found out that Doris still doesn;t want top be interviewed and Maria Ressa want us to withheld some of the info she gave us.

May 11. I spent my morning at Plaridel Hall (CMC). As the chair of the student council, I felt obliged to go to the Freshmen Orientation (which the council co-arranged with the administration). It was a fun experience and I was able to talk with the council members and a representative of a photo studio that wants to bid for the position as the official photographer of the VOX (CMC's grad book).

About 12pm, I rode a bus to CMFR. It was a hot day. I have to go to CMFR that day because I will not be able to be there tomorrow because I have an interview with some GMA7 hotshots. Upon arriving, Kathryn and I started to put the finishing touches to the website.

Yesterday, we put in everything (articles, press releases, manifesto) on the site. Today, we arranged the codes; tried to fix the background picture and edit other pictures. We also made sure that all links work. By 4pm, we told our supervisor that we are done. He told Ma'am Rachel Khan that we are finished and Ma'am Khan checked out the homepage. Our background pic won't work with Mozilla, but Ma'am said it can be fixed. She also suggested that we changed the contact box image. She wasn't able to finish checking it because she had to leave. We also left early that day.

(May 15) We put in the changes to the website. I also edited my article on Adrian Ayalin. I was assigned to take pictures of the MCH newsroom and DOJ's. I monitored newspaper from May 9 - may 15.

(May 16) Early that morning, I found out from SIr Bryant Macale that Doris has filed a case against ABS-CBN at NLRC. He asked me and Joy to contact the commission. We were passed around from one department to another. By lunch, Joy accompanied me in taking the pictures. It was fun, although it was also trying. I met many reporters and got in Mayor Atienza's office.

(May 17) We followed up the Bigornia case. We were able to contact the office of the labor arvbiter. His assistant told us that we can get a copy of the said complaint- it was a public document anyway. But when we went to their office, her boss told us that we cannot get a copy of it. WHY? First, because we were not part of either the complainant and respondent. And most importantly, he kept insisting he does not want to. He said all this crap about we prejudging the case. We told him that we are just gonna state the facts of the case and nothing more. He kept insisting about subjudice. He even mock us telling us what kind of journalism students are we. I told him we know what subjudice is and we just want to get the documents to explain better what is happening.

Joy even brought up that in Article III, Sec.7 of the Constitution it is stated that we are allowed to see the said document. He told us off saying to us "then sue me." I think he just want to powertrip us knowing that we are interns and that we can't blow him off because the document is so important to our story.

*I also saw today that one of my monitor got into PJR. I also have a tagline for the research/transcribing I've done on the blogging conference. The others also has their works published. I think Janice and Joy got the most number of monitors published in this issue. We still have some works in the coming issue/s.*

(May 19) This is our last day. i feel sad about this. We have a meeting @ 3pm this day. We are gonna discuss (maybe have an open forum) the internship.

I'm still following the complaint Doris filed against her former network. I still don't have the document. I called NLRC main office and they told me what they told me before that I can get a copy of the document from the labor arbiter who, in this case, doesn't want to give it to me for no apparent reason yesterday.

I called his office again and got in touch with one of his helps. She explained to me the process the case will undergo. :) I was glad she was the one I talked to because she was able to explain properly how it would happen and also why we were not given a copy. Apparently, the complaint at NLRC would only be public document after the case is solved.

For the last time, we also fixed the website. Sir Nathan asked us to put the alerts/threats stories CMFR makes in the website. The latest alerts were made by some of my co-interns. All in all, I counted 35 webpages. :))

We were not able to start at 3pm. Mark and Junette were not still there and Sir Brye wanted that all of us are there when we start the meeting.

Junette got in at 3:30pm, but Mark came much later. Before MArk came in, we were a bit shock that the CMFR staff prepared a feast for us. It was so nice of them.

When Mark arrived, the 'program' started. They thanked us to have chosen to undergo our internship at CMFR. We were thankful, too. You can see it in the eyes of my co-interns. They asked us if we have some suggestions. SOme of us have, but deemed to just say it personally to our supervisors. They gave all of us copies of Journalism Asia (2001-2005) and a notebook.

Then, Sir Bryan started talking about them doing some deliberations for the best interns. We did not know that there will be best interns. They explained to us that supposedly there would only be one best intern, but for this year there are 5 best interns.

Sir Bryan started describing the best interns. Junette was the first one called, then Janice and Kath. And to my surprise, I was called as one of the five best. I felt thankful and happy that they have appreciated my efforts. Mark was the last one called by Sir Bryan who jokingly said that Mark was almost "evicted" from the best interns. They gave the five of us publications from CMFR.

After announcing the five best interns, Sir Brye told us that there was one of the five that really standout---and that was JANICE (galing niya talaga!). She got more publications.

After that, we took pictures--batch picture--with Ma'am Khan and the staff of PJR reports. We then proceed eating. I came back to printing my published and unpublished articles. Sir Brye started doing our peer evaluation forms (He got a soft copy from Ate Racquel yesterday). While Sir Bryan was doing our evaluation forms, we were joking about the purpose of the plastic cups when there are no drinks around. Sir Bryan heard us and laugh at the joke; He also told us that we were 'bad' for saying that joke. I asked Janice to come with me and to buy some drinks. I felt shy that Sir Bryan heard us making that joke that there was no "panulak" for the food.

Eight of us got home late. WE were joking around about what happened earlier. We were also laughing because some are trying to peek into the sealed evaluation forms. Then they saw that I was given a notepad; and we joked around that I sneak by our supervisor and got one unknowingly. Then we tried to ask for other copies of the pad. Janice and I asked for a reporter's notebook and Sir Bryan gave each one of us.

I'm really happy that I took my internship at CMFR. It was worthwhile and fun. We were able to practice what we have learned and also got to see how media works. We also learned new things and got an experience of the real world.

THANK YOU, CMFR! MORE POWER!

15th day

May I spent my 15th day at CMFR in ABS-CBN compound. We were there the whole day interviewing reporters about the Doris Bigornia issue. We interviewed Adrian Ayalin in the morning, then RG Cruz during lunchtime.

In the afternoon, we interviewed Maria Ressa and Charie Villa about the management's decision. They explained to us clearly the difference between the suspension (a two-day suspension for the bias reporting) and the dismissal that happened to Ms. Bigornia.

14th day

12pm. I arrived at CMFR during lunchtime. I have to attend a very important event, so I came late to CMFR. Upon arriving there, I was at lost. I don't know what to do. I wasn't around on Friday because the student council was giving out the TNP Editorial exam and I was one of its proctor.

I asked the others if we were given a new beat to guard--they said nothing new. I found out that some of us would already be sent to different beats to look into newsroom cultures. Got no laptop and no available PCs to use, I cannot do the website. The others were busy with their alerts and database. So, I started reading newspapers instead.

Afterawhile, Kuya Bryant came to us and asked us if we were doing anything. I said all I am supposed to do is the website but I got no laptop today so I can't finished it. He called the beat culture groups and talked to them. Later, he called me and Janice and told us that we would be accompanying him to his interview with Doris Bigornia, Maria Ressa and RG Cruz. It would be about Bigornia's dismissal after a said "biased" reporting.

I also helped out in looking for news that tackled the said issues. We only got one news and all were editorials.

*I also got my first press id from CMFR today.

11th, 12th and 13th day

11th. Website. Website. finally i have found the right navibar image. I took a part of the staying alive book cover and made it into a navibar image. I put a shotgun target mark on the image and wrote "Philippine Press" on it. It was able to embody what FFFJ stands for.

I was not able to go home early as planned. So, I watch the last part of Gokusen at CMFR after Kuya Amiel recorded the IBC news program.

12th. Kathryn and I are trying to find the right color for the website. We decided on a darker shade of blue. It was nice. I also started editing the other images we would be using for the website. I resized the photos of their activities. I edited some codes; I also tried to make a web ad for the books. We went home earlier this time.

I also monitored the coverage of SC ruling on pp1017.

Ma'am Khan was interviewed by Aljazeera (tama ba?).

13th. I did the webpages about the books. I also did an image-ready advertisement for the books. I also edited some html codes and revised other parts of the website. We've shown it to Sir Nathan and he said that we just have to edit the content of the homepage and put some links to the CMFR database of killed journalists.

10th day.

Tenth day. I spent an hour at the LRT Station. Kainis! Dapat 9:30a pa langay nasa CMFR na ako. Ang nangyari ay 10:05 na ako dumating. Nagtext pa si Joy na may iniwag trabaho si Kuya Bryant sa amin--iproofread ang mga articles for JVO.

Pagkapasok na pagkapasok ko ay may chinika na sa akin ang mga co-politics interns ko. Abah! Nasabihan pala sila kahapon pagkaalis ko at pagkatapos ng staff meeting. Kasi paladi namin na monitor yung exclusive interview ng Probe sa isang tumakas na mutineer. AT ngayon ay balak atang kasuhan ng DOJ ang ABS at Probe ng inciting to sedition. Bangag nga ata talaga ang secretary ng departmentong ito. Lahat na lang balak kasuhan ng sedition.

After namin matapos ang proofreading ay nagmonitor na kami ng t.v. at blogs. Ayaw na ata namin mapagalitan. Tapos, nag-iisip na rin ako ng bagong design para sa website na gingawa namin. Pinapapalitan kasi sa amin iyong banner at navibar...

Late na kami nakauwi ni Rems dahil walang masakyan na jeep. 1 hr din ulit un. 2 oras na nawala sa akin sa paghihintya ng masasakyan. Ano ba naman ito!

Just wanna point this out...

Binalikan ko 'yung iba kong post a few months back. Hindi ko pala malinaw na napoint out ito...wala na akong boyfriend since February pa. Hehehe...puro kasi paligoy-ligoy yung post ko, kaya naisip ko ipost lang ito. Para naman maiba at hindi lang tungkol sa internship ko ang nababasa ninyo. Byers!

8th and 9th day

Eighth day. I came to CMFR earlier than usual 'coz I did not have to wait for Rems anymore. I only have the website to do, so I started doing it (while waiting for my teammate, Kath to finish her alert monitor).

Nothing else to do, we ask Jam to approach Kuya Bryant to ask what we need to monitor for the political beat. He said we should look at the SC ruling on CPR (the so-called pseudonym of BP880). I took the monitoring of the blogs.

There was nothing unusual there, so I came back to the website making. I did the editing of the photos and some of the html codes. Kath did the layouting of the texts.


Ninth day. I have to get out of CMFR early today. The League of College Councils (LCC) called a meeting and I have to attend there. I did some minor changes to the website. We showed it (or rather he asked for it) to Sir Bryant. He said he wanted to change this and that.

So, Kath, Joyce and I decided to make a list of things we needed and of questions regarding what they wanted for the site.

4th day

Fourth Day. I got no proper sleep because I tried to finish the television programs and online articles for the monitor. I was successful in reading all the online articles, but I slept through Insider again. How can I not? It’s not that enticing plus it was already 4 am and I’m supposed to wake up at 6am.

Because of staying up so late, I woke up late—30 minutes late than the scheduled time. So, when I woke up I hurriedly went through my daily morning routines. Gladly, I arrived just on time—grace time of 15 minutes. But, Remanuel came much later again.

When we arrived at CMFR’s office, only two of our co0interns were there--Joy and Noel. Noel (alas! I remembered his name) was one of the interns from the UA&P. Both of the UA&P interns were Political Science major. They were assigned to monitor the Mindanao beat because it is of their interest.

As I settled at my seat, watching the blasted Insider, the cold air from the aircon reached me. Hay…Why did I ever agreed to wear something semi-formal? My blazer only covers ¾ of my arms. Anyway after awhile, I have read and watch everything there is. So, it is time to write my monitor.

Sadly, I had a hard time to write there. The air is super cold, I have to stand up and move and move to feel warm. L To my happiness, I wrote a so-so draft. I wrote one so when I come home I could edit it and try to make it more comprehensible.

About 7pm, Kuya Bryant came. He was in his “masungit” mode as one of my co-interns term to his mood. It is very unlikely of him to be like that. We wonder why. After a while, Kuya Bryant was back to his kuya mode—thankfully. The political monitors (I am a part of this) would meet with him tomorrow and edit our work. :-S

6th N 7th day

Sixth day. After a tiring weekend, I came to CMFR with nothing to do. My boss did not assign anything for me to do last Friday. Anyway, what I did was ask my other superior (Sir Nathan for our FFFJ website project) if what do we really need to do for the said site. He gave me documents and powerpoint presentation to look at. He also provided me pictures of FFFJ events. I tried to study java script because I think it would be useful for the said project, but it was hard to study at the office. So, what I did was to make template and consult with my teammate, Kathryn.

After lunch, my head began throbbing. Ouch! i am having a migraine. I continued with what I was doing earlier. About 3pm, Kuya Bryan called us (the political beat interns) 'coz he want us to do something. We were asked to do some transcriptions about the I-Blog conference he attended. We would have a 'tagline' for that.

We went home early this day. We were joking around saying we missed the afternoon sun after a week of being confined to the office whole afternoon.

Seventh day. I came later than usual at the office. It was so hard to get on a LRT train. Anyway, when I arrived at the office, me, Kathyrn and Joyce started planning for the FFFJ website we would be doing. We sketched how we wanted it to look. We discussed what the buttons would look like and what would the site contain.

We planned that our theme/color would be blue, just like the FFFJ logo. Then, we decided to have a navigation bar having pictures about the press. We also planned on having 5-6 web pages. After that we started doing the preliminaries. I started doing the navibar design and the buttons design. I also arranged the banner. Kathryn did the layouting of the tables. We also searched for pictures and fonts we could use.

5th day

When I came at CMFR (alone this time because I did not wait for Rems, who told me he came to the LRT station at 9am rather than 7:30am) , I thought I would not be doing any monitor 'coz I already have done my Cha-cha monitor. I thought I and the political beat interns would just be waiting for Kuya Bryant to come in at 5:30pm to have a mentoring session with us. I THOUGHT WRONG!

A little while, Ma'am Venus came and told me that Janice and I would be looking into the EO 464 reportage. I suggested that I look at the print and online publications, and Janice would take the tv programs because she is still doing her TV monitoring for the Mayuga report. She agreed. I started reading newspapers because another intern is still using the pc (I did not bring my laptop--bad decision).

Anyway, when I finsihed doing all the reading, I started writing the monitor for the print and online coverage of the ruling on EO 464 (A good decision of the SC if I may say). The media coverage was good, although there were some jeers in it (watch out for the monitor, if ever it would be published). Jan found out the same in the tv programs. So she was only able to add a few sentences and edited some parts of our reports because we had the same findings for all media (except for the jeers I found out).

After that Joy and I went out and look for food. I have not eaten any big meal that day, so when I saw the carbonara at the stalls I grabbed it. Also, it was so cheap (P20). Oh, it tasted good!

By 5:30pm, Kuya was nowhere in sight. We waited for him until 8pm. By that time, we--politics beat interns--were discussing if we should text Kuya if he would really come. We did and he said yes,. We waited for him. When he came, he told me and Joy that he texted us (the text came to me late, 2 hours late).

The editing session was enlightening. I found out what I can really do and what and how I should really write. I admit I was at lost when I wrote my beat monitor for Cha-cha. We went home at 10:30pm after a short ghost storytelling..hehehe...

3rd day

3 days at the CMFR office--It's 2 a.m. and I'm still wide awake. I am about to finish monitoring what is left of my assignments, and then I can begin drafting my 3-page beat monitor.

My day (rather, yesterday) began at 6a.m. I was already going through the copies of the Manila Standard articles on ChaCha. I left at 7:15am and would meet up with one of my confidante also 'working' at CMFR. We were supposed to meet at 7:30am, but 30 minutes have passed--he is nowhere to be found. I found myself thinking where he was. Did he already took off to Makati? Or didn't he wake up on time? The latter, as expected he said, was the reason. He overslept, plus he has to cook his baon, that's why he is late.

Anyway, I forgave. I was thankful he was able to find amongst the hundreds of people at the Blumentritt LRT station. Grateful because I really do not know what I would do when I got to Gil Puyat. I don't know how to get to Makati from there--this was the first for me.

When we got there, I sat down and got a bundle of Daily Tribune and started doing my thing--well, most likely CMFR's thing, monitoring the media. After Tribune, I came back to some of the issues of other newspapers I was not able to read. My eyes were so tired. I pity them.

12 noon, Working Lunch. I ate a chocolate slice from Goldilocks, while reading the last two newspapers for today. After this, I went to the intern's computer table and started surfing. I looked at some of the sites that I was not able to open at home. My server is choosy. About 4pm, I started to watch the TV programs. Some of the coverage were nice--properly rendered and discussed. Some were totally out of line--giving too much exposure at one side of the story and lesser time for the other. Talk about sacrificing balance and fairness just to please their bosses.

By 8pm, we were ready to go. I was not yet finished, of course. I am planning to do it all right at this time. What did I do when I got home? Why didn't I do my monitoring as early as 9pm? Well, it is my schedule to keep/guard our sari-sari store and I can't get out of it. I've tried it believe me since first year college, but look at me I'm still doing it. Just shows my convincing power over my mother will not work. #

second day @ work

Right after the orientation at the CMC, M211 with Ma'am Lambino, we (me, Kath and Rems) hurriedly went to Makati (Ateneo Professional Schools, 2nd floor). I spent the day looking at the screen of my laptop. Watching as news anchors say their spiels and as flash presentation went from top to bottom, left to right. I copied some of the files (video) in my laptop to watch it at home. I also tried to finsih the broadsheets I was assigned to monitor, but sadly I was not able to read it all. What I did was photocopied it and brought it home (the articles I needed).

My back ached from bring 'coz of my big bagpack that contains the big laptop and my file case and other paraphernalias I need to work efficiently. I went home at 9 p.m.--LRT was already closed--via a jeepney. ***I passed by DLSU ( the home of the bloodsucking guy). ***

When I arrived home, the korean novela I love was already finished. :( I went to our room after I ate a bowl of sphagetti--the only proper meal I had all day. I was planning to finish the tv programns I copy, but sadly I fell asleep after an episode of an ABS-CBN news program.

Unang araw

Unang araw pa lang ng internship ko ay binigyan na ako ng isang mabigat na trabaho--ang imonitor ang mga artikulo na patungkol sa Charter Change mula March 25 - April 2. Maaaring isipin ng iba na madali lamang iyon. Oo nga't kung papakinggan ay napakadali pero kapag ikaw na ang gumagawa ay napakahirap.

Una, kailangan mong basahin nang maigi ang mga artikulo ng 9 na broadsheets, 7 tv programs at sandamukal na websites at blogs ng ilang mamamahayag. Ikalawa, i-critic. Basahing maigi, ikumpara ang mga impormasyon na napapaloob at tignan kung paano isinulat ang mga artikulo. Dapat ito ay sumusunod sa mga pamantayan ng pagsusulat at pamamahayag. Ikatlo at pinakahuli, matapos mong gawin ang lahat ng ito ng mabuti ay kailangan mong magsulat ng sarili mong artikulo--ang tinatawag naming beat monitor.

Bakit ba kinakailangan pa ng beat monitor? Tulad nang nabanggit sa amin ng aming internship supervisor, kinakailangan din ng tagapagbantay ang watchdog ng lipunan at iyan ang isa sa dahilan kung bakit nabuo ang samahan na pinagtatrabahuan namin at ang pamahayagang kinabibilangan namin sa ngayon.

* * *

Maliban sa nabanggit ko sa itaas, nakilala ko din ang ilan pa sa mga kasamahan kong mag-aaral na nag-iintern rin rito. Ang iba ay kakilala ko na at kaparehas kong iskolar ng bayan, ang iba ay galing naman sa ibang school. Mababait at mga kalog ang mga kasmahan naming mga taga-St. Scholastica. Kakakilala pa lang namin sa kanila ay nagkukwento na agad sila ng mga nangyayari sa kanila. Masayang kausap ang mga taong ito. Meron din kaming mga kasama from UA&P, pero hindi pa namin sila nakakahalubilo. Medyo nahiya kasi kami dahil ay pagkapormal sila kanina. Malay natin baka mamaya ay ka-'chokaran' na din namin sila.

wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...Kainis. Postponed ang trip namin to Baguio and Sagada this holy week. Sa Apil 29 na lang daw dahil ayaw nilang umalis ngayong holy week. Anyway, makaksama pa naman ako kasi weekends naman iyon at bakasyon ng May 1. :)

Gusto kong i-paste ang video na ginawa ni Cams mula sa aming mga nakuhang picture noong nagswimming kami. Pero sana di magulo ang aking layout na hindi ko makita dito sa bahay :), so next time ko na lang ipopost at tutal ay nasa friendster at myspace accounts ko naman. :) BYe!

The BEST Barkada in the whole wide world (for me)

I love JEMZINCK so much.

Grabe! We have been together since 2000, at 2006 na--6 years na kaming nag-iingay, nagtatawanan, nag-aasara, nag-iiyakan at nagdadaldalan. Ngunit, wala pa rin kaming sawa sa mga lakad at tambay kahit na nga magkakaiba na kami ng eskwelahan (UP, PUP, PLM, MCU at CCM).

Nag-away-away na rin kami mula sa pinakamasakit na dahilan hanggang sa pinakamababaw na bagay (tulad ko at ni Nick, nag-away sa kotseng kuba...bwahhahahahah), pero ito pa rin kami at magkakasama (nadagdagan pa ng mga kasakasamang mga kaibigan).

Nabuo ang barkadahang JEMZINCK noong 2nd highschool kami. Magkakasama na kami nina Emz, Ivan, Nick at Jaypee (Katherine, Jray at Rjay) noong 1st year sa section 1. Sina Camz, Zan, Mutya, Mabel, Melaj at Kim ay napasok sa sec.1 noong tao lang na iyon.

Noong simula ay patambay-tambay lang kina Ivan at kina Emz kasi doon gumagawa ng projects o kaya gustong magkwentuhan lang. Hindi nagtagal lagi na kaming naroroon at naging isang ganap na barkada na.

Isang araw, naglalaro ako at si Jaypee ng letter blocks kina Ivan at naisip namin gawan ng pangalan ang barkada. Noong una puro kalokohan--kung anong paborito, start ng surname, ng first name. Then, naisipan namin simulan sa first letter ng nicknames namin RJEMZINC.

R-Rjay

J- Jaypee amd Jray

E-Emz

M- Melai

Z-Zandra

I-Ivan

N-Nick

C- Camz

Nagkaroon nang hindi pagkakaunawaan at umalis sa barkadahan sina Rjay at Jray. Malungkot, but we respect their decisions and we are still friends with them. Tama nga siguro ang sabi nila na sa bawat umaalis, may pumapalit. Ang RJEMZINC ay naging JEMZINC.

Hindi nagtagal at nadagdagan kami ng mga kabarkada--Mabel, Melaj, Katherine, Kim at Mutya (Nag-undergo sila ng HO ng grupo...hehehehe...). Lumalaki ang barkada, lalong sumasaya. Ang JEMZINC ay nag-evolve to JEM4ZINCK2.

M3-Mutya, Mabel, Melaj

K-Kim and Kath

Masaya, pero kailangan daw umalis ni Katherine. Katulad kay Rjay at Jray, nirespeto namin ang desisyon ni Kath. Hindi naman kasi nawala si Kath sa amin--she is still our friend and was always with us during those years. JEM4ZINCK2 --> JEM4ZINCK.

Noong 3rd at 4th year ay medyo napalayo din ang loob ng ibang kabarkada sa iba--nalipat sa ibang section at nagkaroon ng ibang kaibigan. Masaya kami para sa kanila kaya hindi namin sila inaaway o kinukulit.

Ngayon kolehiyo ay naging biglang JEMZINCK ang JEM4ZINCK. Nandyan pa rin sila sa puso namin at magkakaibigan pa rin kami. JEM4ZINCK pa rin--mas less lang ang pagsasama namin ng 3 pang M. May mga sariling buhay na rin kasi sila at ibang barkada ngayon.

***

Nagkikita-kita pa rin kami ngayong lahat sa mga xmas party ng barkada at swiming moments. Minsan may kulang, pero alam namin na gusto rin nila pumunta hindi lang maaari. :)

***

I love you, JEMZINCK. Thanks sa lahat. Walang kalimutan.

Walang Pahinga

Walang pahinga. Ito ang taang deskripsyon sa amin ng mga kaklase at kabatch ko sa UP.

Hindi kai makakpagbakasyon nang maayos tulad ng maaring gawin ng nakakarami dahil internship na namin sa summer. Ako naman maliban sa internship, kailangan ko ring ayusin ang student council. Kailangan naming maging organized at prepared for this coming school year. Hay, naku! Thesis mode na kasi ako at si Stan next school year so kailangan habang may panahon aisaayos na lahat.

Saka pray for me...Sana makuha ko itong ninanais kong bagay na makakatulong sa akin at sa pamilya ko. #

LOVELIFE MAKEOVER

OVERHAUL--this is what my love life needs.

Right after that tragic relationship with a (former?) LaSalle guy--one of a pathetic and insensitive nature--my first love sent me a message to my surprise. After three months of no messages from him, he texted me again. Right timing? Not really. Wrong timing? Just a bit.
I haven't given up on love, but I am still contemplating about what I want to happen to my lovelife. I am not still ready to plunge into a new relationship--a relationship that has no security.

Hay...

We went out Wednesday and watch a movie. Before we went our separate ways, he told me to text him when I got home. I did--only an hour late 'coz I was busy with a paper for a research class. I never recieved any reply since then. Not a single text. I am accustomed to this act.
He always does this. He would appear. Then, he would disappear and come back another time.
I told this once to a friend and he told me that this could be two things: my first love wants me back and is gauging what I feel for him or is simply doing an ego-boosting thing.

I really don't know the answer. I am confused. MY LIFE NEEDS A MAKEOVER, especially the love part.

I am so tired--really tired.

*Pardon to my friends. Just have to let out my angst.

Nakakapikon

Hmm...Mabait naman ako sa kanya. Binigyan ko pa nga siya ng advice noong kailangan niya kahit na napakasama ng ginawa niya sa akin. Tapos ngayon bigla siyang magpaparate kung paano siya magmahal...Tang* siya!!!!??? Eh, niloko nga niya ako at kinalimutan ko na na minahal niya ako tapos ganoon!!! hay...kapika siya.

Naglabas lang ako ng sama ng loob. :D Bye!

HAUNTING SONGS.

These songs haunt me everyday...I do not know really why...These got stucked to my mind.

Where are you by Natalie (feat. Justin Roman)

Justin](I know you are out there baby...somewhere)There is someone out there for me (I know there is somebody out there)I know she is waiting so patiently (yeah) can you tell me her name? (Somebody tell me her name)This life-long search is gonna drive me insaneHow does she laugh? How does she cry? What's the color of her eyes?Does she even realize I'm here?Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Where is this beautiful girl?Who is she? Who is she? Who is gonna complete my world?Where is she? Where is she? Where is this beautiful girl?Who is she? Who is she? Who is gonna complete my world?dadadadadada dadadada dadadadadada (where are you?)[Natalie]I'm staring out at the sky (I see you baby)Praying that he will walk in my lifeWhere is the man of my dreams (right here) yea-yeahI'll wait forever, how silly it seemsHow does he laugh? How does he cry? What's the color of his eyes?Does he even realize I'm here?Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?dadadadadada dadadada dadadadadada (where are you?)[Justin]There is someone out there for me (there is someone out there for me)I know she is waiting so patiently (so patient)Can you tell me her name (can you tell me his name)This life-long search is gonna drive me insane (that's right)[Natalie]How does he laugh? How does he cry? What is the color of his eyes?Does he even realize I'm here?[Justin]Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Where is this beautiful girl?Who is she? Who is she? Who is gonna complete my world?[Natalie]Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?[Together]dadadadadada dadadada (yeah) dadadadadada (I know you out there)dadadadadada dadadada (yeah) dadadadadada[Justin Talking]Where are you?? I'm going to look all over the world baby'Cuz I know you are out thereI know this might sound crazy, but I think I love youdadadadadada (that's right) dadadada dadadadadadadadadadadada dadadada (yeah) dadadadadadaWhere are you??

DON'T LOVE YOU NO MORE (I'm SORRY) by Craig David

VERSE 1]
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan
But why are you making this drag on so long
(i wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly games
(silly games)
Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

[VERSE 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you inner state
(inner state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

[BRIDGE]
Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.

[CHORUS 2X]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

Goin' Crazy by Natalie

Ever since the day you went away
And left me lonely and cold
My life just hasn't been the same
Oh baby no
When I looked into your eyes
The moment that I let you go I just broke down (down)
Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice
'Cause the feelin that I feel within no other man
Would ever make me feel so right
It's nice to smile when I get your phone call at night
But I'd rather have you here with me
Right next to me
And I miss the way you hold me tight
I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world for you
I'd do anything
That's right baby
I'm goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)
That's right baby
Im goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)
Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you it's been so damn real
My heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak
Can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me
And you want me
And you miss me
And you love me
I'm your lady
I'll be around waiting for you
Put it down be the woman for you
I'm falling so deep for you
Crazy over you I'm calling
Callin' out to you
What am I gonna do?
It's true no frontin'
It's you ain't no other
I can no longer go on without you
I just break down (down)
I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world for you
I'd do anything
That's right baby
I'm goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)
That's right baby
I'm goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)
ooo, crazy,(ooo)
lady (ooo)
lately (ooo)
Baby

*leave me your speculations why these songs haunt me...hehehe...parang mga multo..hehehe...

Here comes the hell month...

MARCH--How I love and hate this month before the vacation. Yet, professors start asking for all the final requirements; scheduling final exams; making you digest all different concepts in a day.

The haggard month--more haggard than sepetember/october--because there are not just acadeics endeavors but also emotional ones. We would see people we love bid farewell to UP and enter the world of corporate people and corporate turmoils. Sad to think that after more than two years of being with them, they would have to leave UP and be professionals. We would miss them, but we are happy for them 'coz they have already conquered their college endeavors.

Anyway, I have to start going through all my requirements because my professors are doing all the things I've said above due to the so many holidays our governement announced and made; and their lesson plans are way behind their schedule. Tata!

Grabe!

Hindi ko ugaling magpakalate sa klase ng 3 hours (kahit ganun ang gawa ng ilang mga klasemyts ko sa subject na iyon). Pero hindi ko talaga napigilan iyong pangyayari na iyon kanina dahil hindi ko natapos ang aking paglalayout ng dyaryo kaninag madaling-araw kasi kailangan ko talagang ipikit ang aking mga mata at magpahinga naman. Kaya nang magising ako ng 7a o 8a...wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...napamadali ako sa harap ng PC...hehehe...natapos ko naman siya kahit hindi ako satisfied sa gawa ko at napasa ko siya today. (YES! Naabutan ko ang deadline..hehehe...).

On another note, super pabaya na ako sa sarili ko. Ngayon ko lang talaga naintindihan o naabsorb na malaki na talaga pagbabaya ko sa sarili ko dahil pumapayat daw ako sabi ng aking mga blockmates, friends and batchmates. Saka araw-araw na lang asakit ang aking tiyan sa hindi malamang kadahilanan. Kahit kumakain na nga ako hindi pa rin siya nawawala...kapag hindi naman ako kumain ganoon pa rin..ano kaya ito? Minsan, try ko pacheck-up uli sa doctor (a year ago pa ako nagpacheck-up...gagi talaga ko...).

Anyway, nais ko lang naman ishare itong information sa aking mga tagapagbasa (kung meron man, maliban sa aking mga mahal na kaibigan). GOD BLESS! WISH me and my co-candidates LUCK on TUESDAY! love yah all.

A tribute to my loving online families and friends

Hello!
Ayan ako po ito! Isa sa mga member ng most wanted/Mmb2 family at ng solid_adiktus family... Kaya ko nilagay itong pic ko dito para fair sa mga ilalagay ko iyong pic dito, dahil sisimulan kong isa-isahin ang mga importanteng tao sa buhay ko na nakilala ko online...

* * *

Ito si Jhema a.k.a. Kambal. Siya ang aking kambal sa dos. Isa sa mga anak ni ate summy online. Kasama ko sa mga pangtitrip at paglalayag sa iba't ibang mga chatroom. Makulit at sobrang kulit...kakaiba ito magmahal...malalim...isa rin siya sa ga pinagkakatiwalaan kong tao online. kambal, yabyooh!

* * *

Ito naman si SUMMER_CHIQ, ang prinsesa ng DOS. hehehe...Si ate april ang pinakaatagal ko ng kakilala sa dos na nagchachat pa rin at kaclose ko pa rin. Siya ang ate ng bayan at crush din ng bayan sa dos. Alagang-alaga ako nito, hehehe... kaya niyo ba si ate april!!!??? ADviser at confidante..sasabihan ka talaga ng tanga kung mali iyong ginagawa mo.. PANALOng ATE 'to!

* * *

Siya naman si sis KIND, in real, si tin. Kaming dalawa ang baby ng most noon. Kami kasi iyong mga pinakabatang laging naka-ol sa madaling-araw at hapon kaya kami ang lil at baby sis ng bayan. Napakasweet nito at mabait. Miss ko na nga siya kasi hindi na kami nagkakasamang dalawa. Hmm...napakabuti nito lalo na kapag may problema ako, inaalalayan ako nito. Wala akong masasabing masama dito. Kahit matagal na kaming walang communication na maayos, we still remain close friends! love yah, sis!

* * *

Si Pareng LEI...oh my! ang tagal ko na itong kakilala pero hindi pa rin kami nagkikita dahil sa mga busy naming buhay..hehehe...lagi kaming nagpaplano dati na magkita with his girlfriend at that time and with another friend of ours, si sche. Mabait ito! Magaling tumugtog ng gitara! Makawestlife dati (peace!), hehehe...kinakantahan nga kami niyan sa telephono minsan. Anyway, thank you lahat, pare! GOD BLESS.

* * *

ADIK a.k.a. Christian Michael blank blank...Ayan hindi ko na binuo ang pangalan niya for security purposes. *laughs violently* si CM ang founder ng bugawan session sa conference room ng YM. Una kong nakausap mga two o three weeks ago, naging kaclose ko agad itong si adik. Kung magsalita ito, hindi mo aakalain na ganyan ang itsura nian, hehehe... Anyway, salamat sa lahat ng advice at pang-aaway (hahaha...)!

* * *

Si ABHIE blank...hehehe...di ko din bubuuin ang pangalan ni abhie. Si Abhie ang pinakauna kong nakilala sa mga batang kasama sa bugawan session. Sweet, mabait at makulit din. Mana sa amin (hahaha..may ganun!). Sis, salamat sa pagtanggap at pakikipagkaibigan sa akin! Text kita kapag may load na ako:-p.

* * *

Si JHANE...Makulit na bata ito. Kapag ol ito ay lagi akong pinpm agad...hehehe...hinahanap niya agad kung ol ang mga adiktus sa conference. hehehe....Matapang bata ang dating niya sa akin kasi kaya niyang sagutin si adik minsan...hehehe...Ingat at sana maayos mo na iyong problem na sinhare mo sa akin , jhane!

* * *

SI CRESELLE (wala pa siyang pic sa akin, hahanap pa ako), kasamahan ko din sa adiktus at bugawan sessions...katext ko minsan, kaya lang bihira kong gamitin ang sun sim ko ngayon. Miss ko na ito...makulit din ito. Binibigyan akong advice pagdating sa aking problemang pag-ibig noong nakaraang mga araw! Pinapalakas nga loob ko...hehehe...pinapagalitan din niya si crew regarding doon sa kalokohan ng batang iyon sa babae..hehehe...sis, thanks!

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Ang MMB2 Family (noong xmas part 2005). Ang smaahan na kahit pa an may mga di pagkakaunawaan pa minsan-minsan ay buo pa rin. Namimiss ko na ng mga mokong na tambay ng dos. Ang tagal ko na rin kayong hind nakakasama sa pagchachat at sa personal. Ewan ko kung kailan ulit kami magkikita-kita pero alam ko naman na may magpaplano at magpaplano na magkitakita kami. Hindi ko na kayo maisa-isa kasi napakarami natin at alam naman ninyo na mahalaga kayo sa buhay ko (kahit na pinagtitripan at nilalaglag ninyo ako minsan). SALAMAT sa LAHAT! :-* muah, MMB2 and MOST WANTED FAMILY!

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Heheheh...MARAMING SALAMAT SA LAHAT NG TAO NA NASA ITAAS. GINAGAWA NINYONG MASAYA AT WORTHWHILE ANG AKING BUHAY-ONLINE. SA MGA HINDI KO NABANGGIT ISA-ISA, GAGAWA PA AKO NG ISANG ENTRY PARA SA INYO, PERO WAG NINYONG ISIPIN NA YOU'RE LESSER THAN THOSE WHO ARE ALREADY HERE. HINDI GANOON IYON. SALAMAT! MAHAL KO KAYONG LAHAT, MGA KAPATID!

back on track

Yehey! Even if it is too late in the game, I'm getting back on track.

Masaya ako kasi, nararamdaman ko na nagsisimula na naan akong mapressure at mahaggard at maO.C. sa mga bagay-bagay. Although it is unhealthy for me kasi kapag ganto ay tinatamad akong kumain at everything, mas mabuti na iyon kaysa sa tinatamad akong gumawa ng mga bagay-bagay. Tinatamad pa rin ako pero minimal na. Sinisimulan ko na yung mga dapat na ginagawa ko.

OCNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...